Background

I suppose in order to understand who I am, it's important to know me from the beginning.

I am the oldest of five children, with two very devoted and loving parents. Dad is and always has been a blue-collar worker. And he is a hard worker as well. He taught me at a young age the importance of doing a job well, seeing it through to completion and the reasons why you should do a job in the first place. Integrity, pride and attention to detail are key character traits I can proudly say I learned from Dad.

For most of my childhood, Mom was a stay-at-home mom. She labored to keep our house clean (although we never let it stay clean for long), she kept great meals on the table and made sure we were raised to be the best we could be. She was always there for us; whether we wanted her there or not! Sometimes a little too over-protective and sheltering; but always done with our best interest at heart and lots and lots of love. When my youngest sibling entered high school, Mom decided her work at home was done and she got a job in retail and quickly rose in the ranks to management. I guess "managing" all of us kids gave her great skills in the working world and she excelled.

We didn't have a lot of material things growing up, but we had each other and that's all that mattered. We were some pretty imaginative kids creating a new "world" in our backyard daily where we could be anyone or anything. Oh, to be a kid again. So wild and carefree. Laughing and running and enjoying each other's company.

I was an unruly child at home. Always bossing my younger siblings around as though they were my little minions. But, in school I was horribly shy, quiet, studious and very lonely. I was the little girl everyone teased and taunted. I never had any true friends until I reached Jr. High. I squelched my empty feelings and dove into my school work and realized I really enjoyed learning. It has been a passionate "hobby" of mine for nearly all of my life. I am still eager for knowledge and crave learning new things. I hope I can pass this on to my children. "The mind is a terrible thing to waste" and "knowledge is power" should be my mottos.

I don't think my parents ever knew the extent to which I was lonely and unwanted by my peers in school. They knew I had little to no friends but I wonder if they knew the pain it caused me. It still hurts a little to remember that lonely little girl wandering around the outskirts of the playground alone, with her head down, watching her feet shuffle through the dirt. But you know, I don't think God wished me to hurt. I had my family there every minute of everyday when I wasn't in school. Maybe He showed me loneliness so I would appreciate and savor companionship. So that when I did get friends, I would stay the course and be the best friend ever. One of my very first true friends I met in Jr. High and although we have had our ups and our downs, she is still a HUGE part of my life and always will be. I don't think I would have valued her friendship had I not wished for a friend so badly before.

Ugh, this is dampening my spirits too much. So I will close this post by saying this:
I am no longer the wall flower, lonely and lost little girl of my past. I am a very happy and empowered woman. With wonderful friends and family that I cherish so much.